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medusinestories · 3 years ago

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Onwards to the episode in which we get to see Flint and Silver each having a very bad day (as well as two literal dicks that nobody had asked to see).

Black Sails VII (s1 ep07)

- We open on Pastor Lambrick's sweaty face as he intensely rehearses the Easter sermon and he’s obviously eaten up by what he did with Miranda. His sermon, unsurprisingly, focuses on sin, keeping sin hidden, and the hell that awaits the sinner. Which leads us nicely onto Flint, who’s distracted (by his own sin? by thoughts of Miranda? both?) during a meeting with Eleanor. Eleanor is pissed that Miranda let Richard Guthrie send a message to the Andromache and then waltz into town to close up his business; Flint tries to take the heat off Miranda, once again protecting her (at this point, he may not know the contents of the letter).

- During this meeting, Flint is startled when Silver first speaks up to say that the mob in the street was bad - clearly Silver is a sort of intruder in this meeting. But Eleanor, after Silver reminds her by unsubtly clearing his throat, tells Flint that he’s not to harm Silver because he was instrumental in setting up the Consortium. Silver looks so pleased with himself in these scenes, and Flint quite defeated when he tells Silver to follow him back to their camp. I love it.

- To parallel Flint/Miranda’s Sulky Sex scene from ep4, we have Anne/Rackham’s frustrating/disconnected sex scene. It shows us a few things about them mainly that Anne wants to keep a lot of control over what happens, hence Rackham being tied up (though of course this might also be his kink), her wearing a shirt that covers up most of her body, and the reverse cowgirl position that means that she’s both in control of what happens and completely avoids eye contact. The position reminds us of the Flint/Miranda scene, where Miranda was also on top, but their scene involved more eye contact (yes glaring counts, he’s still intensely focused on Miranda), gentle touching (on Miranda’s side) and her being naked and open to him. Another parallel is that both Flint and Rackham aren’t in the right frame of mind for sex, Flint being angry and Rackham lost in a sea of worries (and probably also somewhat angry/disappointed at Anne for forcing him into the plot to kill their crewmates). The difference between Flint and Rackham is that while Flint doesn’t seem to have any trouble performing, Rackham is miles away and doesn’t even notice that he’s lost his erection - again. Anne is frustrated by this, and apparently knows him well enough that she offers to put something up his arse, but he’s clearly not in the mood, and she leaves in a huff, abandoning him all tied up as a sort of revenge for his performance problems. Whatever the problem is between them isn’t put into words (because Anne can’t yet, for starters), unlike the one between Flint and Miranda. The intimacy between Rackham and Anne, so often described as close partners, seems much more distant to me than the one shown between Flint and Miranda. I’m not sure whether it’s because of anyone’s sexual orientation, or just the fact that they’re fucking but they’ve never discussed the big important things, such as Anne’s identity/feelings/etc.

- In this episode, Dufresne gains a lot of power: with a freshly (and badly) shaved head and a new tattoo, he’s been promoted to Quartermaster on the Walrus in Billy’s place. And very quickly he has a problem to deal with: Randall revealing that Silver stole the page. Gates had actually already told this to Dufresne, as is revealed at the end of the episode, which might explain why Dufresne is relatively calm during the whole conversation, while DeGroot wants Silver and Flint hanged and Howell is surprisingly ruthless: he brings up the idea that it may be better to kill off Randall in order to get to the treasure, if they can’t make sure he’ll keep quiet about Silver being the thief. Dufresne is actually quite kind towards Silver in the scene where he puts Silver’s memory to the test - a test that could result in his death if he fails it and that Silver constantly grumbles against (I love his grumbling!). Basically, at this point Dufresne remains quite a sympathetic character, which will change a lot as the show goes on, especially after Jannes Eiselen had to leave the show (such a sad story, RIP Jannes).

- In the meantime, the Flint and Gates relationship is crumbling. It's sad to see, especially since they're shown sharing chuckles as they talk about Dufresne's appointment in the beginning of the episode. But then Gates brings up the subject of Miranda and demands explanations about the letter Billy found. We're not shown exactly what Flint answers, but it's clear that he's actually trying his best to give him an explanation without incriminating Miranda too badly. The sad thing is that Flint is actually telling the truth: he actually wasn't involved in any betrayal of his crew and and can only guess at Miranda's motivations. But the fact that he's lied time and again in previous situations, including on the Maria Aleyne where he claimed Lord Alfred drew a weapon on him (and Gates secretly verified that this was a lie), and used men as pawns to advance his and Miranda's plans, is now catching up to him. Flint seems truly hurt when Gates accuses him of using the men for his own purposes, and turns spiteful, telling Gates that he should have been "a better father" to Billy and helped him "understand the world he was living in" (suggesting that such a forthright character as Billy can't really survive in a world of pirates who are all ready to stab each other in the back). After that slap in the face, Gates says he's exhausted from Flint and threatens to take it to the crew. Somehow, this pushes Flint to bare all: he tells Gates about his plan to keep a part of the treasure and use it to build up Nassau, depicting himself as a sort of saviour, doing it for the men's good: they'd rather be rich men in a safe place than dead thieves hanging from a noose. Gates sees this as delusions of grandeur, and tells him that while he'll see the Urca plot through, after that they're done. I actually think he sees Flint’s point, since he doesn’t just throw him to the crew, but won’t admit that out loud. The whole of this scene hurts bad, because you can tell that Flint is desperate and sad to be losing his closest ally and friend, and that Gates is hurting from the loss of Billy and exhausted from the toxic relationship he has with Flint, where he's played enabler to his manipulations for years.

- While Flint and Gates’ alliance is breaking, Silver has to forge one with Randall or die. Randall finds out in the beginning of the episode that he’s been voted out of the crew. This is apparently due to DeGroot’s fears that Randall could be a fire hazard, which the crew took disproportionately to heart. Randall is furious with Silver, who smugly tells him that in these situations, a setback often comes with a new or unexpected opportunity. He’s right, but at this point he doesn’t know that he is the opportunity Randall’s going to latch on. Randall reveals that Silver is a thief, and Silver denies it, saying that Randall is both a halfwit and was in a haze of opium when he heard what he thought he heard; he even tries to convince Randall that he was mistaken (this, my friends, is gaslighting). However, by revealing that Silver was the thief, Randall sets a chain of events into motion which could either end with his death (if Howell has his way, since Randall is an inconvenient witness) or Silver’s (if DeGroot tips the balance, not trusting Silver to remember the coordinates and not wanting to sacrifice Randall for nothing). Silver figures out that these are the outcomes, and tries to talk sense into Randall by making a deal with him: he’ll care for Randall and make sure he can stay on the ship. But it’s only when Silver finally admits that he is the thief and that Randall was right, that Randall accepts the deal. Later, Silver realises that Randall might have orchestrated the whole thing: he’s now got Silver to serve him, doesn’t have to take any risks on the ship, and gets to remain with the crew. Silver wonders if Randall is a genius rather than a halfwit (a word thrown about a lot to describe him). And it seems quite obvious, considering what happened, that Randall still has strong survival skills (an amputee with impaired cognitive skills doesn’t stand a chance of survival outside a crew and he must be aware of it), that he still has a good memory and an ability to pick out useful information and that he’s aware enough of what’s going on to be upset by the crew’s rejection and Silver’s attempt to gaslight him. I think it’s important to recognise that Randall is more than a comic relief or a grotesque character: he’s a disabled man who's lost parts of his cognitive ability and is struggling to survive.

- This episode focuses on Vane facing his past. He seeks out the island where he grew up and its master, Albinus. I’d forgotten or never really registered that Albinus was a pirate and that the men who work for him were mostly his crew - and likely slaves (or children, hence Vane?) that he managed to capture/press into service. He’s retired from pirating and set up a system where his men cut down trees for timber all day, without wages. It’s not clear exactly how he holds so much power over these men, although it seems that everyone is terrified of him. He’s extremely strong physically, seems shrewd, speaks rather well, and his tattoos suggest that maybe he’s involved in some kind of ritual (truly religious or just for show?) which would make him all the more scary to superstitious people. Vane is clearly still frightened: he barely makes eye contact and practically stutters when he first tries to make the deal with Albinus, which is that he’ll take some of Albinus’ men as crew and send Albinus part of their earnings as tribute. It says a lot about Albinus that Vane, after years of having run away, is still so scares that he’s willing to pay him a tribute. But he changes his mind as he stares at a boy bearing the same brand as he does: he tries to persuade the men that Nassau is a pace of pleasures rather than hard labour, and confronts Albinus. The fight is brutal and ends with Vane buried naked, just after Albinus tells him that he’s proud of him. But of course Vane wouldn’t be Vane if he didn’t rise from the dead at the last minute and kill Albinus, goaded on by his inner Eleanor voice.

- In the meantime, Mr Scott returns to Eleanor, apologising for what he did, telling her he betrayed her out of love. However he also reminds her of his slave status: technically, he belongs to her. The argument upsets her, and he quite cleverly uses this moment to ask her to free the slaves who were on the Andromache. And it works: by the end of the episode, she’s made arrangements for the men to work on ships and has bought the women’s freedom and found them jobs in her tavern. But Mr Scott has still decided to leave Eleanor to join Hornigold’s crew, to refrain from meddling with Eleanor’s affairs, since he disagrees with her so strongly re: the Urca. Hornigold approached him earlier in the episode, and the introduction to that scene is quite interesting: Hornigold says to Mr Scott “I’ll need to know your secret” and Mr Scott looks startled and frightened. It seems that he’s startled because he’d been giving food to the slaves, but in light of S3, it could be a much greater secret that’s being referred to. Mr Scott is relieved when he realises that Hornigold is simply talking about tolerating Eleanor, who he clearly can’t stand.

- Flint’s bad day continues, of course, with the big confrontation he has with Miranda. He’s furious about the letter (of which he now knows the contents thanks to Gates), telling her that it could have got him killed, or destroyed the plans they’d made and asking her whether she was trying to embarrass him. This sounds so weirdly petty, and yet it also sounds exactly like the kind of argument that would come up in a bickering couple. Miranda answers that she was trying to help him out of that life, because she wants to move on. This is where Miranda utters the famous “there is no life here, there is no joy here, there is no love here”. I noticed that, covered by Flint yelling at her, and distorted because her voice has gone very shrill, Miranda says another line, which sounds like “you used to love, then”. If that really is what she says, it’s extra-extra-extra heartbreaking to hear (if someone wants to check it for me, it’s around 35:40). It’s obvious that Flint and Miranda’s views on life are very different, and I can’t help but think back to the fact that, as a carpenter’s son from the country, Flint has had to struggle all his life to become who he is. So when he says that you can’t get a life without having a war, and Miranda tells him he’s wrong, she’s speaking entirely from the point of view of her privilege. She’s never needed to fight as hard as he has to be happy, because she got extremely lucky in marrying Thomas. And when she says that Thomas would agree with her, I’m certain she’s right. But life has never been like that for Flint, and there’s no way he’ll ever entirely agree with their point of view. Rewatching this scene is tough, btw, because they both have great points, they’re both hurting so much, and there’s so much to take in between the body language, the facial expressions, the tones of voice and the actual words that it’s a whole whirlwind. And it feels very, very real.

- It’s absolutely hilarious to see Rackham get robbed by the whores taking advantage of his lack of knowledge (and research). He should absolutely have done a better job and has no clue how to run a brothel. He’s lucky Max takes things in hand after having heard from Idelle that the girls were taking advantage.

- Then we have the beautiful Drunk Flint scene. Eleanor notices him feeling very sorry for himself after Gates has pretty much broken up with him and he’s still reeling from fighting with by Miranda. I think Flint feels very misunderstood here. He thought that he was doing something good, to save Nassau and avenge Thomas, and doesn’t understand why they can’t see it, why they only see the terrible methods he uses to reach his goals. So he’s full of doubt, clearly wondering if he’s the villain of the story, and puts the question to Eleanor: is their plan worth it? Eleanor is the only person who still believes in him, which leads us to the only scene that I would ever call straight-baiting. Flint hovers near Eleanor, breathing heavily, and a variety of emotions play over her face during this moment of tension, as she seems to think this is leading to a kiss. It does, he gives her a chaste little forehead kiss and leaves. All the elements are in place to make your average viewer start shipping these two. I actually find it hilarious that the ship barely exists in the fandom (though I wasn’t there in the beginning of the fandom and I guess the viewership changed a lot between S1 and S4).

- The scene with Flint and Gates glaring at each other from their respective ships and Parson’s Farewell playing in the background... epic! We know this is the beginning of a big struggle between them, especially since we find out that Gates has pretty much decided that he’ll hand Flint over to the crew once they get the money. But nnnnggh that scene! The ships leaving on their hunt! Awesome and heartbreaking!

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royalreef · 5 years ago

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(( Okay, so. Important lore piece here. I’m finally fully stating it now, since with the rpc generally being smaller and quieter, I’m not sure if people will even get to the point where I can discuss it, plus my own pickiness in who I roleplay it with.

If you would like to go about slowly discovering my Miranda’s lore with your muse and enjoying that slow-burn investigation into everything, like how I’ve generally been presenting this blog so far, then skip over this. It’ll come up again in time.

I just have a lot of passion for this one piece of Miranda and I want to be able to say it somewhere.

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Truth be told, this might not come as a huge shock to those who have been around longer, since I’ve definitely used the tag as a CW and have teased it before, but I want to do a full confirmation and discussion of it.

My take on Miranda involves her having childhood-onset psychosis. I myself have schizophrenia, and while I definitely wonder about making it so that Miranda also has schizophrenia - for now, I just use Psychosis NOS as my general going-off point.

She hallucinates. She has delusions. She experiences negative symptoms. This has been happening with Miranda since she was a child.

Particularly, her delusions are delusions of persecution and delusions of grandeur, and one delusion I know I’ve brought up before is her having latched onto Polly’s joke that Hope is an evil version of Miranda herself, thus generally making Miranda think that Hope is a creature from merfolk mythology that is trying to steal her image and take Miranda’s place. Which is why Miranda is very adamant in her fear and dislike of Hope, because of the delusion - which itself is based upon how I know I form delusions.

I’m very picky about how I present Miranda’s psychosis. I’m all too aware of the ableist stereotype of the “””insane ruler”””, along with the ableism around psychosis and violence. Honestly, I know Miranda isn’t a great muse to add a psychotic headcanon onto, since she is described as genocidal so many times and is so bloodthirsty, but at the same time... I guess I just really do want to see her with psychosis. To have that discussion. I do fear that it’s encouraging armchair diagnosises of other evil people, but at the same time, I do have a passion for the idea of Miranda as dealing with the same thing I deal with.

So... Hence when I’m roleplaying it and discussing it, I really want to make a distinction between when Miranda is being affected by her psychosis and when she is hurting others. Her urges to hurt and be violent are far more complicated - being as she was effectively encouraged to have that reaction by both the abusive system and the abusive family she was born into, first goading her into taking her frustration and emotions out on others by harming them, and then rewarding her when she did act violently. She wasn’t born violent, even as a merfolk, with them being highly specialized predators, but it’s a far more complicated issue of her being melded to think that hurting people is good, and she should do it, and being given no other outlet for anything, just further pushing her into that loop until she feels, subconsciously or consciously, like all she can do to deal and cope is to be violent. For that reason, even getting her to realize that, hey, she probably shouldn’t be hurting people, will be a long and painful road that won’t be enjoyable for her to go through, if necessary. But no one ever said healing from such severe abuse would be a painless path.

But when Miranda is having a psychotic episode, she isn’t violent. I’m very careful about that, and the only time she would be violent is when she’s terrified and basically backed into a corner, and it’s for the same reason a scared cat might scratch you. She wants you to go away, to pay attention to all the signs that she is terrified, and she just really wants her space. For that reason, it’d be much more limited and far less dangerous. Speaking as a schizophrenic person, yeah, I can absolutely say I’m far more dangerous to myself than to anyone else while in a psychotic episode.

Mostly, Miranda’s just afraid while in a psychotic episode. Reality is so much more difficult to navigate, and it’s confusing, and the amount of paranoia that delusions can dump on you and the unpleasantness that comes with hallucinations make it all the harder to deal with.

Likewise, Miranda knows about the ableism thrown at people with psychosis. Hell, she even has to deal with internalized ableism herself. While she’s never seen any kind of psychiatrist (or, she has, but... well, let’s just say it wasn’t for good reasons), and really doesn’t know that the term psychosis fits her, she has a pretty good idea that something happens to her that distorts her perception of reality. She has no name for it, but she can see the similarities, and it freaks her out, due to how she knows the treatment of herself would change. She’s always had psychosis, but she knows that others learning about it would make them think differently of her, and the sheer thought of the depersonalization that comes with how ableist people treat those with psychosis is enough to make her desperately want to hide it from everyone.

And, functionally... yes, she does feel shame for it, all due to that internalized ableism and her feeling like it’s some kind of character flaw that she has, instead of it being just how her brain is. The abuse doesn’t help either.

Not to mention how the Merkingdom would react. I don’t want to spoil too much, but yeah, the other royals definitely would use her psychosis to manipulate and abuse her and discredit her, including saying she’s unfit for her title due to being psychotic, and she knows what being unfit for the title would mean for her.

But... There’s still quite a lot I don’t want to spoil so freely, not yet.

#Most secret royal advisor || OOC #Given by Divine Right || Headcanons #You built up a world of magic ; Because your real life is tragic || Self #ableism #abuse #violence #long post #psychosis

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thevagueambition · 5 years ago

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I was tagged by @antirococoreaction to talk about five male characters I love

(God, only five? However will I choose between my boys >_< ?!)

This is most certainly not going to be a literary as your offerings, lmao. When it comes to literary fiction I mostly like Kafka and Kafka, by the nature of his writing, writes thoroughly unlikable characters.

This got way too long bc I’m incapable of not gushing about my faves when given the chance lol

Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender

It is my enduring opinion that if you want to see a redemption arc done right, look at Zuko’s arc in The Last Airbender. He’s a scared, abused kid who managed to build up personal morals in a system that discouraged them, and was harshly punished for daring to voice them. He’s someone who always wanted to be good, but struggles with defining what good is, given that his culture and upbringing has taught him one thing, but his heart (and his uncle) tells him another, and his new experiences reinforces that. After he figures out what “good” looks like, he’s always held accountable for his past actions. He makes amends, and he accepts it, for the most part, when people aren’t ready to receive them. His anger issues, as well as how he sees himself as someone who had to be hardworking because he isn’t talented (however far from the truth that may or may not be in reality) are also aspects of him that appeal to me and indeed that I relate to.

Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars

My love for Anakin is not dissimilar to my love for Zuko, though the quality of the writing in question certainly is. I love an edgy boy, is what I’m getting at, I guess :’D More seriously, Anakin’s story is ultimately one about control, which is a subject that interests me quite a bit. Anakin is never, at any point, really in control of his own life. He’s never really truly free. He’s born a slave, he joins the Jedi Order and he becomes Palpatine’s apprentice. He always exists within rigid systems of control, until his very lasts moments with Luke before he dies. With how Palpatine essentially groomed him, thinking of Anakin as equally a victim of Palpatine and a perpetuator of his (metaphorically speaking) abuse is also interesting to me. Certainly his clearly distorted thinking (eg convincing himself he can’t trust Obi-Wan, for instance) is also hugely important to his appeal to me. Also? He’s SO EXTRA I can’t with him lol

(That’s your LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM you turned off, Anakin!!! I know you’re depressed and dissociated and also The Drama but damn!!!!!!)

Nicodemus Ravens from The Shamer Chronicles (Skammerens børn)

The Shamer Chronicles is a series of Danish fantasy books for kids, and probably the most popular books of that type (particularly the first book, The Shamer’s Daughter). Nico is a major character, though never a POV one.

Nico was, essentially, abused by his father for not living up to the male gender role. He didn’t want to learn to use a sword, he didn’t want to kill, and his father hated him for it. As a result, he’s a teenage alcoholic and profoundly at war with himself. He constantly have other people telling him narratives about who he is/should be: first, he’s the younger son who should bring his father glory, then he’s the heir unfit for the throne, then he’s, depending on the political position of the character in question, either a monstrous murderer who must be killed by the glorious leader or the rightful heir to throne, a hero ready to bring war to his enemy and liberate his people, then rule them in benevolence.

Nico doesn’t want to be any of those things. He knows who he is, is stubborn about it, but also can’t shake the belief that his relative pacifism is really just cowardice. I’m just going to quote one of my favourite scenes here (forgive the translation, it’s my own, I don’t have the official one at hand):

“[...] They want a hero, I think.”

“Is that so bad? It’s better than being a monster, at any rate.”

“You think? Have you noticed how often heroes die in battle? Of course everyone mourns them afterwards and write beautiful ballads about them, but the heroes remain dead. Stone-dead. And I’m in no hurry to get on my white steed and start slaughtering people until someone better or luckier than I sticks a sword in me. No, thank you.”

He looked both obstinate and shameful, as if he thought he really should get on his white steed and all of that. I could understand why he didn’t want to die, and yet… Well, I think I’d always expected him to return to the Lowlands to fight Drakan at some point.

“What do you want, then?” [...]

“I just want to be me,” he whispered. “Is that so terrible? I just want to be Nico and not a lot of other people’s hero or monster.”

Anyway there are Two Crimes when it comes to Nico: the fact he isn’t gay in canon and how so many adaptations turns him into the Generic Fantasy Hero he’s a very conscious subversion of in the books (the other principle male character is essentially someone who’s hurt by toxic masculinity as someone who buys into it, while Nico ofc is hurt by it because he doesn’t/can’t, so the series certainly had an opinion about it).

Albus Dumbledore from Harry Potter

Dumbledore is, to me, someone who chose what was good for the world over his own happiness. He chose to be the one to dirty his hands, the one two make the terrible decisions, do the terrible things, that were necessary in the battle against facism. There is something very brave and admirable about that to me. It’s not that he never did anything wrong, he certainly did, but again, I think he was very aware of the terrible things he was doing, and part of the reason he keeps everything so close to his chest is because he doesn’t want anyone else to have to make those decisions, to have to feel that blood stain their hands. Dumbledore loves the people in his care profoundly, he loves Harry profoundly. And it kills him to have, as Snape puts it, “brought him up like a pig for slaughter”.

Whether something is morally justified and whether it’s necessary to prevent evil are two different questions, and I don’t think Dumbledore feels particularly justified, but I do think he does what he perceives to be necessary to prevent facism. And hates himself for the decisions he takes along the way. And all of that comes back to, to some extent, his survivor’s guilt over the death of Arianna and the profound wake up call that was Grindelwald 1) turning on his family 2) being a very violent fascist, rather than just a theoretical one like teenage!Dumbledore was. In his mind, Dumbledore is already condemned for what happened when he was 18, so it’s better that it be he who takes the terrible things upon himself than an “innocent.” It’s better that he try to atone. Dumbledore is working towards a redemption he never (to his mind) arrives at.

In regards to his sexuality, Dumbledore was certainly written with the trope of a “tragic old closeted gay” in mind, but of course JKR never made anything much canon aside from his “flamboyant” sense of style (that the movies have ROBBED us of >:( ) and hobbies, so to a certain extent, I get to ignore that homophobic intent. In the books themselves, the only thing you can really read between the lines is that Dumbledore was in love with Grindelwald, not whether it was 1) reciprocated 2) acted upon, so with only the canon, we also get to mitigate some of the Implications of “Dumbledore dated Wizard Hitler for a while”....

I mean I do Love Mess(tm) so Dumbledore having that terrible wake up call is certainly also part of the appeal for me. Personally I enjoy the interpretation that Grindelwald deliberately manipulated Dumbledore’s feelings.

Captain Flint/James McGraw from Black Sails

BE GAY DO CRIME BE GAY DO CRIME BE GAY DO CRIME BE-- *coughs*

As you might guess from my description of Dumbledore, a lot of the reasons I love Flint are similar to why I love Dumbledore (and Solas, but we won’t go in to Solas rn lol). Flint is also someone who chooses to do the terrible, necessary things, who chooses the fight over his personal moral cleanliness. In a more obvious and extreme way than Dumbledore, certainly, but the principle is essentially the same. Of course, Flint’s fight is personal in a completely different way from how Dumbledore’s is. Flint’s fight is simoultaneously his revenge, a fight against the corrupt system that ruined his life and a fight for something better. Dumbledore is defensive, Flint is offensive.

The self-integrity he has is truly amazing. He’s cast aside by everyone but Miranda, and yet he never starts thinking he has anything to apologise for. To ask for a pardon would be to ask for forgiveness, and he doesn’t think he needs to be forgiven. Not for loving Thomas, not for anything he did while he was still English. He perceives the reality of the situation, he sees what is right and what is wrong, and he knows that he is the wronged party. He stares at the behemoth of the entire social structure of his world and says: No. You move. I am not in the wrong. England should apologise to me.

Flint is my angry gay dad and I love him.

I tag (as always, completely optional ^^ ): @teddy-stonehill @thebearmuse @andvaka @solitarelee @gallifreyanathearts @sinni-ok-sessi @melle93 @papanden @seimsisk

I feel a bit dishonest leaving Grantaire off of this list, lmao, but I talk about him enough as it is.

Other honorables mentions go to: Enjolras (Les Mis), Captain Jack Harkness (Doctor Who/Torchwood), Solas (Dragon Age), Fitzwilliam Darcy (Pride and Prejudice), Kim Kitsuragi (Disco Elysium), Harry Potter, Remus Lupin (Harry Potter) and my soap boys Robert Sugden (Emmerdale), Richard “Ringo” Beckmann (Unter Uns) and Ben Mitchell (Eastenders).

#someone: like a none edgy boy me: a what now #not that nico is that edgy #btw if i had been the type to name myself after fictional characters it would have 100% been nico #the movie adaptation does not deserve rights #also re dumbledore jkr is like ''he turned into a bit of a celibate after grindelwald'' and i'm like nah NAH fuck off #siggi rambles #tag meme #my meta

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stand-up-and-fight-daleks · 5 years ago

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A, J, Q, Y and Z!

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

Due to the global health crisis, I haven’t read or even thought about any shippy stuff in weeks. I think the stress is making me revert back to my truest form, namely, Everyone Is Basically Ace Because Considering Other Options Is Exhausting.

Funny how that goes.

Anyway, I’m currently feeling Tony/Rhodey and Tony/Bucky the most, though I honestly still can’t decide if I like Tony and Rhodey better as friends with very occasional benefits.

Also - in the name of honesty and because I have been streaming almost all of Sabrina the Teenage Witch in these trying times - I have to admit that Sabrina and Harvey were very cute together.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

I’ve been here for so long that solid 90% of my exposure to new shows comes through tumblr, but B99, the Good Place and Derry Girls come to mind immediately.

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

I have never been much of a shipper, so if a ship manages to penetrate all my outer layers it’s pretty much there to stay. I have parted ways with ships I read more casually though. I used to be able to read bagginshield, but I noped out of it due to severe overexposure and characterization issues.

I also used to read a lot of 9th Doctor/Rose Tyler stuff about a decade ago, but I also quit reading it about a decade ago and can’t exactly remember why. The ship probably died of natural causes once the flame burned itself out.

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

Only one that comes immediately to mind is the Black Sails - I know there’s an angry gay named Flint and a dude named Silver who’s either a manipulative asshat or a puppy dog, or possibly both at the same time. There’s also a lot of cool women, but I’m pretty sure the coolest (Miranda????) ends up dead.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

It’s very hard to ramble on cue, you know.

I’ve recently been entertaining myself by trying to force the history in Harry Potter to make sense. Like, how did the founders manage to build a 14th century castle in Scotland in year 1000 or so??? The obvious answer is that JKR notoriously can’t math and refuses to history, but the crack opportunities are basically endless.

My favourite current theory is that Hogwarts, like most castles, has been rebuilt and extensively renovated several times over the centuries. The original castle was a wooden fortress, which burned down several times, at least twice because everyone was too drunk to put the fire out on time. The stone fortress was built around the 14th century, which means that the actual founders had fuck all to do with it. The Chamber of Secrets is a 16th century addition at the earliest. Nobody in-universe knows or acknowledges this. Mostly because they’re prone to exaggerating their antiquity and ancestry because it translates to importance, but also because their history education has all the relevance and scholarly merit of a documentary about how aliens built the pyramids. They don’t even know that they switched to paper ages ago, because they still keep calling it parchment. The ghosts could talk, but won’t.

Like I said. Endless opportunities.

Also Sabrina the Teenage Witch holds time surprisingly well and is far more entertaining than the Netflix remake, which only has evil Miranda Otto and Michelle Gomez to speak for it.

#heartoferebor #thank you for the ask!

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liarsweapon · 3 years ago

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LAYERS OF LOYALTY: THE LORDS AND THEIR TEAMs.

forgive me for not using icons i wanna change the border again bc i hate myself.

also lappy’s being weird again so thats fun.

Don’t rb without permission, thanks. This is primarily about my portrayals of the characters, and includes those that aren’t canon to the game. 8)

ALCINA

Alcina, next to Moreau, is the most loyal to Mother Miranda. Does in fact view her as an actual mother, though her viewpoint can be seen as more obsessive than just daughterly. As is clear, however, when her own daughters lives are put in question, she’ll betray her mother’s command in an instant in order to protect or avenge them. Her loyalty to Miranda is great, but her loyalty to the daughters Miranda gave her is far greater.

BELA

Bela’s loyalty to Miranda falls directly on Alcina. Wanting to make her mother proud, and show devotion according to what she believes her mother would want, Bela’s loyalty to Miranda is, well, entirely based on Alcina. Alcina adores Miranda like a mother (and cult leader, as someone who has done excessively deep dives into cults they do manipulate you into believing the leader is your parent, leader, everything important to you... and often lover, but that doesn’t seem like something Miranda is interested in thankfully) thus, so does Bela. But if Alcina chose not to follow Miranda at any point, Bela’s loyalty would instantly die out as well.

CASSANDRA

Cassandra’s loyalty to Miranda is, well, she doesn’t really have it. Her loyalty is specifically to her Alcina. If Miranda were to say Cass couldnt’ hunt, for instance, Cass would want to hunt her. She enjoys killing, that’s her primary source of entertainment. She’s even been known to kill villagers when they stray too far from worship of Miranda (or, at least that’s her excuse up until Miranda orders the lords to kill all the villagers) then she’ll either drain them if they’re female, or if they’re male, either turn them into a scarecrow for the vineyard, or bring them to Uncle Heisenberg for his tests. If Miranda were to vanish or perish, Cassandra definitely wouldn’t give a shit.

DANIELA

Dani’s loyalty is... questionable with Miranda. Some might think she’s loyal due to the loyalty she held to the woman in life, but once she became the mutation she is now, and lost all memories of her life, her loyalty was, again, only to the girls mother. She really, really doesn’t care. She doesn’t take part in the worship, she’s sort of still testy about Miranda when she once tried to call her granny and got in trouble for it. Even her loyalty to Alcina’s wishes can be questioned, because she actually likes the other lords and considers them family. Especially Heisenberg. Being taught how to make pipe bombs really just sold her on her unkie. She’s the only one that calls him unkie. If Heisenberg asked her to help get rid of Miranda, she might be hesitant at first, because she doesn’t want to upset mother. But, if she knew how Miranda treats her mother, her hesitation would drop pretty quickly. Because how dare she be mean to mother!

Dani’s also the most self centered of them. She doesn’t even eat most of the men they kill, just drains their guts to fertilize her flowers. She wants to play games and have a good time, but she’s also got an unbelievably short temper. Considering she’ll hack at the staff if they say no to her.

MOREAU

Moreau’s the second eldest of Miranda’s ‘children’, and definitely got the short end of the stick. Despite this, he’s even more loyal to Miranda than Alcina is. While Alcina would betray Miranda for her children, Moreau would never betray Miranda. He loves her far too much. Even though she made what he went to her to heal worse, and completely destroyed his self esteem and physical stability in the process, he still views her as his actual mother. She was kind to him while his parents insulted and were disgusted by his deformities (although she was manipulating him, he doesn’t recognize that fact) she was kind and offered to ‘heal’ him. Although, she only made it worse, he ended up killing his family to prove his loyalty to Miranda. In doing so, he also severed his ties to them entirely, and mentally effectively replaced them with Miranda.

HEISENBERG

We know his loyalty just, that’s not there. Kinda ironic, seeing as he’s clearly Miranda’s favorite (Moreau made the wolves, Heisenberg controls them. Heisenberg asks for something and she immediately gives it to him. Alcina’s distaste for Heisenberg seems deeply rooted in jealousy of how much more attention he receives from Miranda, and the fact she gives him more than she gives the rest of them now.) But he wants her dead. He wants freedom from her influence. Which is also kinda funny, because him and Moreau are the two that actively refer to the other lords as their siblings/family, even though they have starkly different loyalty to Miranda and Heisenberg refuses to recognize her as his mother. He had his parents, and Miranda killed them when she took him away for experiments as a child. He pretended to worship her, but his primary goal was to kill her, and free himself (and, by proxy, his siblings, despite claiming to hate them while still constantly referring to them as siblings) from her influence.

His army is made of the dead, and arguably he didn’t actually kill anyone himself. Arguably, because he clearly intended to kill Ethan if Ethan didn’t do what he wanted. I do think Cassandra probably gave him a lot of the corpses he has used though. Also, his experiment notes... idk how much i agree w the fandom saying he’s never killed anyone lol.

DARCY

Darcy, being Heisenberg’s assistant, and still feeling the side effects of the mutation (her’s being pretty bad and still kind of painful), she holds no loyalty to Miranda. In fact, she only holds loyalty to Heisenberg because he wants to kill Miranda.

In a way, Darcy hopes she can figure out a way to cure the infection. She hates it. She hates Miranda. She wants her freedom. The only reason she hasn’t tried to escape is because she knows Miranda can kill her with the cadou and mutamycete if she tried. Sometimes, she wonders if that would really be worse than life with the infection, however.

DONNA

Donna’s the youngest of the four Lords, having been turned only in the late 90s/early 2000s, when the rest of her ‘family’ was turned between the 20s-50s. Her loyalty, well, nobody’s actually sure. She doesn’t speak, at all. She’s a selective mute. Her ‘voice’ is all a hallucination from her cadou powers. That’s why she primarily ‘speaks’ through Angie, and Angie may in fact be the personality Donna wishes she had (Or, Claudia’s personality, because I do line up to the theory Claudia is Donna’s younger sister, Donna was turned and ceased aging around 18-21 years old, after a few years of experimentation, and Angie was made from Claudia’s bones after the flowers in the house added to the degration of her father’s mental health.)

She mentions not being able to let others leave her house because she ‘can’t let them’, but its unknown if that’s truly because of Miranda, or if she’s just so lonely she doesn’t want to let them leave. Her hallucinations aren’t entirely under control yet, but she’s grown a great deal in her control capability since she started. She killed the gardener by showing him hallucinations of the wife and child he lost, and killed him to prove her loyalty to Miranda. Something that seems to be a running theme, and I wouldn’t be shocked if Alcina and Heisenberg had to do the same too. Thus, if Heisenberg did, there’s no reason why Donna wouldn’t have done it just to maintain her place.

However, she’s also still young, and clearly was raised.. under questionable circumstances. With the lack of affection, she likely would be willing to do anything just to feel the love she’s lacked feeling all her life. So, really, if someone, like Heisenberg showed her more affection, brotherly, fatherly, or whatnot, than Miranda does, she might struggle to keep her loyalty to Miranda, because someone else is fulfilling what Miranda isn’t.

#I FORGOT TO MAKE HEADCANON TAGS I'LL TAG THIS LATER FUUUUU #tbt #anyways #I gotta go make lunch so I'll be back but I spent the last two hours writing this evidently so #or wait #its 140 it was 1240 when i....#an hour its an hour #i cant math im trying #be back in a bit #then i'll do replies and send memes and things #or ig i can send memes on mobile so if i see memes on the dash i will bug u until i run out of messages i can send

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meggannn · 7 years ago

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ok some more!! lydia + jack and another one of yr choice

Jack

What did your Shepard think about Jack’s incredible biotic power? Were they alarmed? Impressed?she's used to biotics and being around supposedly “dangerous” biotics, and she’d though highly of kaidan, but she knew jack is obviously of a different class and has a lot more emotional/volatile personal issues than kaidan that would need a bit of.... careful handling lol. so she wasn’t really scared or impressed (though they were impressive), more concerned that if jack herself wasn’t in a good place, then she could put herself or the crew in jeopardy. like, she views biotics as a tool, and knowing jack’s strength and capabilities are important for her strategizing as a commander, but she thinks of jack’s biotics less often than she thinks of jack herself, if that makes sense.

Did your Shepard allow Jack to kill Aresh, the man in her cell at Pragia? Did they do what they believed to be best for Jack?she argued to let him go. she knew he was a victim and didn’t really see how killing him would help jack, or prevent future victims from being traumatized (she didn’t believe he would or could genuinely have the resources to open the facility up again anyway). so when she tells jack not to kill him, it’s less “you’re better than this” and more that she appeals to her in ways she’d respond to, like... “look, killing this guy is pointless, you’ve tried killing for a while and it’s not helping, and killing aresh won’t help either. this place is behind you. you are strong enough to leave this place behind and be more than what they planned for you.” and she means it, but she can say it without empathy: she says it very, like, flatly/bluntly when she talks to jack lol, cause jack wouldn’t respond to anything she’d see as patronizing.

How did Jack’s abrasive temperament affect your Shepard’s relationship with her? Were they put off or did they attempt a friendship?she grew up with people like jack so she knows how to navigate her, though it’s her first time handling someone this volatile as a commanding officer. it’s more like constantly diffusing the bomb of her temper before it erupts at a bad time; shepard’s grown up a lot since she was a teenager, gone through officer training and knows how to mediate discussions and deliver orders as a supervisor, so she feels comfortable talking to jack without talking down to her, but also letting her know she can’t just have run of the ship. i don’t think shepard’s intimidated by her, but it’s also not a “i’m going to rescue you from yourself!” thing -- if jack wants to grow, then shepard will help, and she does enjoy talking to her, but she can’t do all the work, and like, she’s not her mom, you know? because jack reminds her so much of her past talking to jack can take a lot of her emotional energy; she doesn’t really mind it, since after a while jack is responsive and starts to respect her candor, and then by me3 she’s obviously in a better place to appreciate shepard and talk to her like an equal, but in the beginning at least it is a little tiring. but shepard sees it as her duty as a commander to make jack comfortable on the sr2 and in her place in the crew, and it’s worth it in the end, obviously xo.

aaand i’m gonna do miranda

Miranda

How did your Shepard react to Miranda’s genetic “perfection”? Do they believe that no being can truly be perfect?lol i think shepard was mentally rolling her eyes when she heard about miranda’s genetic engineering, not because she judges miranda for it, but just because it seemed damned typical of the illusive man/cerberus/human (cough white) supremacist groups to treat women like test tubes. and of course tim would collect her and use her as his top agent because why the fuck wouldn’t he lmao. she does judge miranda for a lot of things, but not what’s out of her control.

Did Oriana and Miranda’s protection of her change your Shepard’s view of Miranda? Does your Shepard have siblings they would ceaselessly protect, like Miranda and Oriana?she respects miranda a whole lot more after hearing about oriana, and doesn’t care that she kept her a secret. her problems with miranda aren’t entirely gone, but hearing she’s an older sister doing the best she can to protect her younger sister (cough) definitely makes her more relatable. lyd has a huge gut-like reaction to save/prevent children in particular from the realities of her work, so she agrees immediately and doesn’t judge miranda for “stealing a baby” from her father at all. most of her strong feelings are because she did have a younger sibling back in london that she failed to protect in a gang war, so she does whatever she can to save kids as an adult. (it’s also a reason why she connects well with ashley.)

How close were your Shepard and Miranda? Why drew them together or apart?it was not great at first; shepard wasn’t openly hostile, she was professional and cordial and asked her all the usual questions to get to know her crew, and not superficially, but she still didn’t trust miranda like the rest of her crew for a long time. like she could acknowledge that yes, miranda IS everything she said she would be, she’s incredibly talented and a more than capable xo and lyd believes that she’s not secretly out to get her or screw up the mission, she’s wary of miranda for a very long time because:

well to begin, she joined cerberus, and NOT under duress (being on akuze also didn’t help lyd’s opinion of cerberus), and without fail defends them and tim at every opportunity

she’s absolutely reporting everything shepard does to TIM so shepard has to filter what information she can to her xo, and not being able to trust her xo is not a feeling she likes on her own ship

miranda openly confessed she wanted to put a chip in her brain. like, the fact that she admitted it openly deserves some respect from lyd in that she knows miranda will not.... lie to her, but she doesn’t put it past her to lie by omission

speaking of miranda’s involvement in her reconstruction, like.... there are soooo many fucked up ethical implications of what miranda was a part of, even if technically she saved her life. it’s a mixed bag of emotions. again with the “i can respect you without liking you” thing.for the first few months i think shepard started to think of contingency plans with miranda, like “everybody else is loyal to their paycheck and some are starting to be loyal to me, maybe if i can get miranda on my side, she’d be willing to go against tim for me in case we ever have to split?” like, she knew it was a long shot, but she had every intention of ditching cerberus the instant the mission was over, and if miranda liked her, GENUINELY liked her for her, maybe she’d have a shot at convincing her to bail with her/not ratting her out to tim. this was...... not really malicious manipulation, but it was a reality she had to plan for: if miranda was on her side, she’d have a stronger chance of ditching cerberus and living to tell the tale (shepard imagined leaving cerberus and knew that if she didn’t have miranda’s loyalty at that time, she fully expected to see miranda again on the other side of the battlefield again in the future; either that, or tim might send miranda to come ‘collect’ her again in the future). but then after the collector ship, and especially after oriana and seeing shepard handle the crew/her work the way she does, i think miranda started to sway to shepard’s side without even realizing it. so tl;dr: they respected each other and got more amicable over the months, but it was cautious and slow-going; until miranda quit over the line at the collector base, neither of them realized just how much they’d come to trust each other.

#lydia shepard #keelificent

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kalinara · 7 years ago

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So, I’ve just babbled endlessly about my hypothetical rewrite for the first half of season 2, so now to talk about the second half.

In general, I’m happier with the second half. Mostly because my favorite character is back...so to speak, and there’s more of a sense of metaplot movement. There are some pacing issues: it is awfully abrupt at parts, but I think some of that can be smoothed out by introducing a few key concepts earlier.

Therefore, I’d probably keep Raiders of the Lost Art through Land of the Lost as pretty much the same as is in canon, with a few caveats.

I’ve been thinking about this and I’ve decided that one big change that I would make, that I didn’t mention in my last post, is that I would jettison the whole hallucination Len bit, after all. And I would have Leonard Snart as a member of the Legion of Doom much earlier.

I feel like this would introduce a bit more suspense in Mick’s arc. I don’t think he’d be inclined to side with the Legion on his own without provocation, but actually seeing Len there in earlier episodes, like my hypothetical JSA/Spear episode would have a bit more of a bite.

I think I’d revamp Camelot a little and have Malcolm accompany evil!Rip to kill Charles. I wouldn’t have Malcolm do anything, mind you. I think it’s important storywise to have Rip be the one to kill him, but it’d give a bit of an opportunity to see how Malcolm feels about the entire evil!Rip situation. We know from Arrow that he’s not above brainwashing, but he had an interesting little dynamic with Phil.

The other thing is that I would like to play up Sara’s rage a bit more. Bloodlust was an important arc in season one, and all but forgotten in season two. Sara has specifically chosen not to kill Damien Darhk at this time, out of duty. But I’d like to see that wrestled with more. Especially because of how I’d end the season for her. (She’d still get the heroic moment, don’t worry. :-)) At no point would we see her succumb to her bloodlust, but I really think it’s important to re-establish that struggle.

I think I’d keep Moonshot mostly the same too, though I think I’d want to emphasize Ray’s role a bit more. Ray didn’t get a lot of development at all in season 2, which saddens me. I think a lot of that might be alleviated though if we actually allow him to react to Damien a bit more. That moment of rage in Camelot fascinated me. Damien had imprisoned him for a year, and he just saw him mistreat a (admittedly brainwashed) friend. I think maybe that’s a thread I’d want to develop through Moonshot and maybe Fellowship.

Here’s where we get to the big change though: Fellowship/Doomworld/Aruba. I’d keep the original theft of the Spear, but that’s pretty much it.

Doomworld was fun, but in the end, it was a completely pointless jaunt. The characters didn’t learn anything, because it got rewritten. We had Mick betray the team twice, and no consequences, except bitter cynicism when the showrunners start touting the idea that Mick finally sees the team as a family. This is Fellowship Mick, after all. And it’s hard for me to not see him as one dickhead move by the team away from betraying them all.

But mostly I’m pissed off that the penultimate episode gave us nothing to work with in terms of character growth when a much better premise was squandered. We know that the spear tempted the crew, but except for Mick and Amaya, we don’t even know what it SAID.

So what I’d do is expand Fellowship into two parts. No stupid rewritten universe. I’d go full on temptation arc. We have eight characters at this point who have tremendous losses and issues, so let’s take two episodes and explore that for each of them.

Also, I’d have the Legion of Doom defeated soundly at the beginning of Fellowship. Done. The team’s real adversaries in the last three episodes are themselves. (Though the Legion members can assist with temptation perhaps from the brig, Hannibal Lecter style.)

I kind of want to keep the idea of Mick betraying the team, but I would avoid that out of character confrontation on the bridge. I think I’d make it entirely about Leonard. He does care about the team, but if Len goes back, he dies. How can he let that happen?

So maybe Mick’s hears the voices of his family, sees Len in the Brig, and just snaps and tries to use the Spear. Which promptly ensnares each character in a personalized temptation:

Most of the characters would have pretty straight forward temptation quests but we’d actually get to see them. Amaya’s would include Rex as well as her village. And we’d see it all, including a vision of Mari at the end when she succeeds in defeating her temptation to manipulate fate. Ray’s would be heavily symbolic. Heroism, being able to make a difference grand scale, and culminate in taking the throne of Camelot and ushering in a new age, while bringing justice to his enemies. (Eobard’s monologues from Moonshot play heavily into this.) He passes when he realizes that he’s been a hero all along and he can work on ways to increase his positive impact on the world. (Ideally Kendra would appear because I love Kendra).

I’ve never had a good grasp on Nate, I’ll be honest, but I think it would offer him ultimate knowledge and the power to make things better for himself and his friends. Save Amaya’s village, bring Henry back. A bit like Ray’s but a bit narrower scale. Not selfish, but more self-centered.

Jax’s and Martin’s would be linked, I think. Jax wants to be recognized as his own man, for his own accomplishments. I think the Spear wouldn’t offer him as much direct power, but the means to achieve things on his own. Fixing his knee. Money for school. A ship of his own. Basically start up capital. Jax of course realizes he doesn’t need any of that. He already is a great man who can do great things, and his potential is only growing.

Martin is deathly afraid of losing more people that he loves, so his temptation would involve protecting Lily, Jax and Clarissa. To the point of over controlling everything to keep them safe. Of course, he’d need to let go.

Rip and Sara will have slightly different set ups though. Rip’s avoided the temptation of using the Spear before, after all. And Sara’s already had that lovely “I’d rather have a nightmare that’s real” speech.

So their tests will be less about using the Spear itself (though what’s offered to them should provide insight into their characters), and more about their personal flaws. Namely, Rip’s issues with reaching out/trusting/being honest with the team, and Sara’s fear of herself.

Rip: It’d be easy to bring back Miranda and Jonas for this, but I think that matter was put to bed in season one. Like Sara and Laurel, this is a test that he’s already passed. He’s also the one who has past experience with the Spear’s temptation. The Spear's temptation of Rip is more about shame and regret. Specifically, it will offer him the chance to undo all the evils committed by evil Rip: bring back Charles, Galahad. He can bring back Henry, who lost his family and then died because of Rip’s mission. He can undo recruiting the team, undo Leonard’s death, and Carter’s. He can undo falling for Miranda, and putting her in the crosshairs of the Time Masters and Savage. He can undo himself.

Rip is tempted more than Sara is, his self-loathing is strong, but he’s too much of a Time Master to believe that he can undo his past mistakes. Instead, he wants to take the spear and basically go, with it, into a black hole or something. No more spear. No more Rip. Complete the journey he should have taken in Legendary. This is his responsibility and his burden. (There should be a thread of distrust in Rip’s plot. He loves his team, but he doesn’t want to burden them and he doesn’t really trust them with the burdens.)

So of course, then, his true test is to let it go and relinquish his burden to someone else, to trust SARA to act.

Sara: I wouldn’t make Sara’s test about bringing back Laurel. Since, as I said, she’d already resolved that in Compromised. Sara’s test is different: The Spear promises her wrath: the ability to destroy her enemies and eradicate anyone who has ever or will ever hurt her, her sister, and her friends. I’d specifically highlight: her murder at Malcolm’s hands, her sister’s murder by Darhk, and Rip’s violation by Eobard, because that gives an additional temptation: they’re helpless in her brig. She CAN deal with them now. She can protect anyone. “No woman should suffer at the hands of a man” can be a reality now.

But Sara doesn’t respond to this temptation by going for the Spear, but rather fleeing away from it. Sara is terrified by this temptation and terrified that on some level she wants it. That’s why, in the end, she’ll be the one to use it. Because her true test is to trust herself. When she does use the spear, she doesn’t bring back Laurel. She doesn’t obliterate her enemies as a Goddess of Rage. She just does what needs to be done. The Spear neutralizes itself and they’re all freed.

I’m torn when it comes to Mick, since on one hand, I want to give him the chance to undo his mistake in a heroic manner. But on the other, who can blame him for wanting to save his friend? But I like this betrayal better than the ones in Fellowship/Doomworld, because I think the team can accept that these sort of circumstances would not likely happen again.

That might require more thought.

In the end though, the team rejects their temptation, Rip trusts Sara, and Sara overcomes her fear of herself to use the spear.

(I admit, that I’d be inclined to throw Sara and Mick a subconscious bone. Somewhere, hidden in time, a version of Laurel Lance and Leonard Snart wake up. NOT because Sara couldn’t resist temptation. She succeeded. But more as an act of the Spear itself.)

I suppose I’d still keep Rip leaving and the broken time at the end, but I’d make it less about having rewritten time that once and more about the team’s general carelessness along the way. The people saved and people killed. The zombies and stray Time Pirate. Tokugawa and Turnbull wouldn’t have happened in this version, but I’m sure we can find a few more instances of the team trampling through history to use as a basis. And then, go on from there. :-)

[ETA: I admit, I probably would not include Gideon in the mass temptation, but it’s possible that she can be involved in Mick’s side of the plot. If he does end up choosing to help the team in the end, he may be unsnared by this whole mess, and she can help him. That also will require more thought.]

#legends of tomorrow #wherein I continue to steal other people's ideas

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aion-rsa · 5 years ago

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His Dark Materials Episode 4 Review: Armour

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With the introduction of two new characters and the journey underway, His Dark Materials is really flying now. Spoilers…

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This His Dark Materials Episode 4 review contains spoilers. It originally appeared on Den of Geek UK.

If the careful foundation-laying of the first three episodes had left you feeling at all distanced from or frustrated by this story, then "Armour"’s here to yank you into a giant bear hug and surround you with fun, action, excitement and promise. This was the most enjoyable and accessible episode yet.

With the uncluttered, clear-cut plot of a videogame level (meet mystical gatekeeper, solve riddle, receive magical object, recruit allies, unlock achievement), a ticking clock thanks to the spy fly device, and the introduction of a couple of welcome archetypes (the rascal adventurer and the down-on-his-luck warrior), it was an entertaining hour of forward momentum. Lyra solved problems and forged alliances while the grown-ups dwelt on their pasts and pondered her role in the future war.

The alethiometer - until now a weighty question mark - also came into its own as a magical engine driving the characters onwards to the next thing, and the next.

The very next thing is a four-day hike north to Bolvangar (aka The Station aka The Fields of Evil) to rescue the stolen children. With a fast-talking aeronaut and a legendary fighter for whom “war is the sea he swims in and the air he breathes,” Lyra and the Gyptians are better equipped than they were when they docked in Trollesund. Progress!

It’s fitting that the episode told the story of Iorek gaining his freedom because this episode felt freer than the others. Its predecessors having done the hard work of explaining concepts like daemons, alethiometers and Lyra’s origin, this one was able to get on with the fun. Now that the gang’s all together, things can really get cracking, and they did. Admirable and impressive and thought-provoking as it’s all been so far, this was the point at which the series really took off and flew.

Speaking of flying, the arrival of Texan Lee Scoresby brought with it a welcome sense of lightness and agility. Like Lyra and Roger’s race over the rooftops in episode one, his scenes were untethered from the seriousness and gloom anchoring everything else. His singing introduction (because if you hire Lin Manuel Miranda, writer of the hottest musicals around, you give him a song) set an entirely new tone – warm and uninhibited instead of ominous and weighty. And after the sad creepiness of Mrs Coulter’s messed up relationship with her daemon (is there anything sadder than her batting away its hand during their Magisterium visit?) and all the peril elsewhere, watching Lee and Hester harmonising on a ditty was loveliness itself. Between that and Hester’s commentary on the bar punch-up, the companionship provided by the human/daemon relationship has never been clearer, or more enviable.

read more: His Dark Materials Episode 3 Review

Miranda describes his character as “a little bit the Han Solo of this series” and it’s easy to see why. He’s a fast-talking, law-bending, pilot for hire with a furry companion, and he knows his way around a bar fight. Likeable, funny, good-hearted and entirely non-sinister, what he brings to the adults of His Dark Materials is a much-needed ingredient. Full marks for casting too.

Full marks also to Iorek Byrnison’s creators at Framestore. As a CG creation, he has heft and substance and feels irrefutably present in the environment (especially when was crashing around its corners, sending it all flying in that rage-filled race to retrieve his armour). Work as skilled as that can’t have come cheap and, in the words of Lee Scoresby, neither should it. You get gold for gold.

Much more important though, is the heft and substance Iorek has as a character. Voiced by Joe Tandberg, his self-hating sad story evoked just as much pathos as Farder Coram’s tragic tale, and his journey from shame to pride to mercy this episode made his every appearance compelling.

Directed by Otto Bathurst (the director who in series one set the template for the ultra-stylish Peaky Blinders), "Armour" wasn’t just full of plot movement, but literal movement. Dialogue unspooled between characters who were busily doing things – walking, eating, changing clothes … Nothing was static, which brought Trolleslund as a location to life.

The Magisterium opened up as a location too, showing us impressive scale, more of the stooped, reptilian Cardinal, and introducing Fra Pavel’s alethiometer-reading room. Two questions were asked of Fra Pavel - he of the filthy predilections - this episode. From Boreal, how can he discover what Grumann sought; and from Mrs Coulter, who is Lyra Belacqua?

She’s Mrs Coulter’s daughter, for a start. Both mother and child this episode showed an uncannily similar talent for manipulation. Mrs Coulter played the ace up her sleeve with the Magisterium and flattered the vain armoured bear King Iofur to do her bidding. Like The Jungle Book’s King Louie, he aspires to the trappings of humanity (and in Lord Asriel has coincidentally trapped a human.) Lyra too, played her hand beautifully against Lee Scoresby, Iorek, even Lord Fa (“He’s been mistreated and tricked, just like the Gyptians have been, always. He’s practically Gyptian, just like I am.”).

Mrs Coulter isn’t the only one with questions about Lyra. Doctor Lanselius eyed her power greedily, and Farder Coram suspects that she’s the subject of a prophesy – rarely good news. As for the viewers, after on this week’s show of bravery, quick-thinking, chutzpah and empathy, we know exactly who Lyra Belacqua is: the girl’s our hero.

Read and download the Den of Geek NYCC 2019 Special Edition Magazine right here!

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Review

Books

Louisa Mellor

Nov 25, 2019

His Dark Materials

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kandrakar-rambles · 8 years ago

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Overall Thoughts

The good:

The show took me back to a nostalgic period of time. It was fun seeing my favorite characters brought to life with voice acting and animation, and made them feel even more real.

For the most part, I was pleased with the animation. I prefer the art style of the comics, but I understand the need to simplify things for animation... especially since this was probably a low budget production. And overall, I think they did a great job with the rendering and attention to detail.

I think Season 2 was better done that Season 1. It's too bad the show was cancelled... while I know a lot of you hated the animated series, for understandable reasons, I would have liked to see if they could have redeemed themselves given another season. And perhaps some new writers. But perhaps that's just because I would have liked to see some of my favorite arcs and issues brought to life. I would have loved to see Taranee vs. the Oracle. I would have loved to see Orube. And I would have loved to see Raphael Silla in action.

Yan Lin was as wonderful in the show as she was in the comics. Actually, I think she had a bigger role in the animated series, and for that I am utterly delighted. I love that they had an older female mentor. How often do we get to see elderly women portrayed in the media? Especially elderly POC women.

Some of the dialogue was corny and cringe worthy, but I really do think they got better towards the end of the series. And there were some very entertaining episodes. I think if they had stuck a little closer to the source material, they wouldn't have run into as many problems as they did.

I really love the voice actor they got for Cedric and Phobos. I found it very fitting to how I imagined it in my head.

They did change the girls outfits every episode. Considering other animated TV shows I've watched... hats off for that alone. It really helps the girls feel like real, organic characters.

They did not butcher Matt's character, although they changed some things about him that I'll never understand. But considering how badly they messed up Caleb... hey, I'm glad they didn't mess up my cinnamon bun.

The music brings up all sorts of 90′s and 2000′s nostalgia. A+ for playing with my emotions while making me cringe just slightly.

The bad:

They butchered Cornelia's character. Instead of the fiercely rational, passionate, loyal, and protective girl we get to know in the comics, they reduce Cornelia to a the stereotype of the airhead blonde who cares only about her appearance and boys.

They butchered Caleb's character. Instead of the sweet, supportive, and somewhat clueless flower-man, we get the stereotypical sexist white-boy hero who gets to be a dick all the time and no one ever calls him out on his shit. Comic Caleb and animated Caleb are so vastly different the only thing they share in common is their names. Giant portions of Caleb's history was erased and instead he was made the "son" of a rebel leader and an evil villain... because, you know, the boy needs an "epic" plot line. And earning redemption after living a life of servitude to Phobos wasn't good enough.

They butchered Cornelia and Caleb's relationship, which was supposed to be a tragic love story of star crossed lovers...and instead, relied upon the boring, over-used trope of "You annoy me so I secretly love you." It's reminiscent of the boy tugs girls hair and that somehow translates into love. It's...cringe worthy at best.

Caleb got far too much screen time. I'm sure it was in an effort to drawn in "male viewers." But first and foremost, this was a comic series (and animated series) geared towards young girls and empowering young girls, and Caleb got at least half the screen time. If anything, we should have been developing the girls backgrounds more or focusing more on their friendships.

Speaking of which, I wanted more scenes between the individual girls. We all know they're a powerful, strong group... but what made the comic so amazing was that everyone had a unique and organic relationship with each other. There were subtle differences in how all the girls interacted with each other and the comic focused on all of it. I wish they would have explored Irma and Hay Lin's friendship as well as the tension sometimes visible between Cornelia and Will.

Miranda's character was completely unnecessary and in the end, sad. But they never addressed it as such. If she was a 15 year old girl, then she was manipulated and abused by Cedric just like Elyon. I'm not sure how old Cedric is supposed to be, but we know he's old enough to be an adult and own a bookshop. So we're definitely crossing into luring a minor and creepy shit like that. While the comics did a great job of showing kids why adults aren't always "safe" with Elyon and Cedric's ultimate betrayal of her feelings, and we never once think "Elyon and Cedric are great together!", the animated series fails to address this as an issue. They don't go "Wow this is creepy and wrong as fuck." The comics do. The comics make it very clear that Elyon was manipulated by Cedric and Phobo's, who used her feelings for Cedric and her love for her brother to twist her into a weapon for themselves. So while Miranda was a background character, it's very dangerous not to address this issue. Because if you don't, it makes it seem "okay."

Not enough Peter. Period. But I have this complaint with the comics as well.

They changed Irma’s character too. For some reason, they made her into this sarcastic tomboy. I mean, Irma is pretty snarky in the comics, but she’s also probably the most girly of all the guardians. And I will never forgive them for trying to make Irma feel guilty for rejecting Martin, who acted like a total creep and was pissed about being friend zoned. It was an absolute injustice to Irma, who would never put up with that sort of shit. She’s also pretty flirty. And while in the comics she’s seen with multiple love interests, the animated series make it seems like she only ever pines after unattainable guys.

If they were going to change anything from the comics, they could have added more body diversity. *my one sole complaint about the comics*

I wanted more about the girl’s athletic lives. Cornelia is this amazing figure skater who has won medals and trophies, and Taranee is a fantastic dancer. Will is a beast at swimming... and I think it’s important to show girls excelling at normal athletic events.

#overall thoughts #w.i.t.c.h.#animated series #what a ride #season 2

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saveourtiredhearts · 8 years ago

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Emerald city, brought to you by...Pink Floyd? A lot of focus on guns? It’s like a choose your own adventure--pick your product placement!

witch dynamics: honestly one of my favorite parts!

West: very important that she regards East as the sister who loved her--explains why she’s helping Glinda, a sister she obviously has some dislike for. I don’t quite know how to feel about West--i feel sympathy for everything she’s been through but she killed Miranda, who had been with her for years, and she was really creepy and manipulative towards Tip! But then again, she’s had some messed up things happen to her...and Dorothy did kind of sort of kill her favorite sister...

“Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?” YES. But no “I’m not a witch at all”

Can’t take off the ruby/gold gloves, just like in the book, she couldn’t get the slippers off of dorothy! yay similarities!

Glinda: still a creepster. confirmed secret keeper! next up; why did East attack her? I’m guessing it has something to do with the Beast Forever

Also: thousands of witches were born by Mistress South, the confirmed head of the witch family. Where have they all gone to? and if she was so powerful, how was she killed?

Tip: definitely did not get enough of tip this episode. Interesting how he was trapped by mombi and now he’s basically trapped by West. How much of a difference is there, really? loved that he helped save dorothy though, and loved how he came to that decision. that scene with miranda was a little freaky--did West really look into his soul? didn’t seem like it

also i don’t like Miranda but also what a terrible way to go

who’s hoping Tip breaks out of this damn palace? I am!!!

Dorothy: poor dorothy, more torture this episode for her. I really winced during that whole glass-and-foot scene--almost worse than hanging in the air, because at least that had a purpose

this damn gun! I knew it would cause major problems! you don’t bring modern tech into fairytale lands!

poor dorothy cont. with the karen chapman scene. It was pretty obvious early on that it wasn’t her mom, but that didn’t bother me. The point wasn’t to fool us, it was to fool dorothy, who’s so distressed at this point that she’ll take any form of familiarity/love she can

speaking of which, West was super cruel when talking about karen’s treatment of dorothy. yeesh

i found it really funny that dorothy could just wander into the wizard’s palace. No guards? At all? and she just walked into his chambers without anyone seeing her? The wizard didn’t hear her? the music wasn’t that loud...my school is more secure than that palace.

wizard:

he’s from earth! whoops i already knew that.

he knows what a gun is! see above.

...he knows dorothy? okay that one was a ssurprise. We knew he knew Karen chapman (re: when he threw her into East’s weather/tornado thing) but i figured karen was preganant or something at that point (20 yrs ago) so how would he know dorothy? I bet he and karen were ‘involved’ or at the very least discussed baby names. (any chance they arrived in oz together?)

for a man who rules a whole land, he seems to have very little knowledge or control over what goes on.

p.s. he’s gonna make guns now. what a fantastic idea. cant wait.

Langwidere and Jack and King Ev (not dead but pretty much dead)

I love her masks! I don’t particularly like her or her treatment of other people, but with what was presented to us, i’m getitng the feeling because of whatever’s under those masks (physical deformity?) she grew up isolated. now she’s socially unaware, and jack’s gonna show her how to be ‘normal’--what she seems to really want

not on board with this langwidere + jack thing, because i think it’s a huge irresponsible leap to make when she has stated before that she owns him, and she doesn’t even understand the concept of friendship. But i’m not aboard the tip + jack train either. choo choo! we’ve broken down at the station. maybe we can just all be mutual friends?

also: poor jack. I get the feeling there’s going to be a decision in his future about whether to fight or not...anyone else reminded of the Tin Soldier? (from The Tin Woodman of Oz)

I’m glad we got some backstory for langwidere! I’m betting the whole drowning/flood thing has something to do with why she wears the masks

king ev: what��s up with all this abandonment/death of dogs? what i mean is; WHERE’S TOTO

in the books; king ev commits suicide. here, he’s still alive. PLOT POINT

Lucas/Roan and Sylvie

honestly i’m so proud of lucas in this episode. He doesn’t know who he is or what he’s down, but he’s determined to find out. He treats the guy who knows him with kindness even though he’s afraid, and he has SO MUCH LOVE for sylvie. i’m both shaken up by and proud about that moment where, once discovering what he had done, he surrendered himself because he knew it was right!!!! i love him so much!!!

sylvie!!! what a sweetheart! i feel like Lucas telling her ‘no magic’ is going to have some repercussions as it’s basically the wizard’s order (also I don’t entirely get why he said that? is he attributing his memory loss to magic and therefore is now fully against the idea?)

i love the relationship between her and lucas

i hope she finds dorothy?? or dorothy finds her??? fingers crossed.

was that toto at the end? inquiring minds want to know.

#emerald city #emerald city spoilers #long post #talk to me!

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rheyareads · 7 years ago

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Echoes

Title: Echoes Author: Miranda Marie Publisher: Createspace Pages: 474 (paperback) Review: 2/5 Stars

** I received this book free in exchange for an honest review. That in no way impacts my thoughts below**

Echoes is a story of Emma White, a girl made into a deadly weapon who endured memory loss after nearly drowning during a hurricane. Emma is perceived as timid, shy, innocent and fragile, though inside her mind a storm rages seeking release from it’s cage.

Lost in her mind are the memories of who Emma really is and those who made her into this destructive weapon. When Emma is approached by a brother and sister claiming she belongs to a different life, offering to help guide her, she is unable to decipher what is real. Adrae is cool and cunning, dark as night and just as dangerous but her brother Natan is golden like the sun, spreading warmth and protection in his interactions with Emma.

The story follows Emma as she tries to keep her raging storms calm within as she struggles to escape the control of Adrae. Emma battles with her relationship with Natan, longing to protect him from Adrae and from herself.

This story has so much potential to be great. The idea of a girl who was raised and altered to be a deadly weapon and machine of destruction is not a new concept and one that has the potential to captivate readers. Emma’s mysterious past and abilities are intriguing and have the potential to hook readers into craving the next page, desperate for answers to the burning questions racing through their mind.

The most prevalent problem with this story is that there is too much mystery. From the very beginning, readers are introduced to characters with very little information. Adrae and Natan, major players throughout the story, are thrust into the plot without any inclination as to who they are or why they’re there. We know that they were hired by Daniel, Emma’s brother, and that they live with their parents who we learn are very rich. Other than that — we know quite literally, nothing.

Now, this wouldn’t necessarily be an issue if we at least knew why Daniel’s character is important to the story line. Daniel is Emma’s brother who hires Adrae to take care of Emma, but we never learn anything about his relationship with Emma. Why doesn’t he want to be around Emma? Why would he abandon her? Why does he have ‘government contacts’ that are referenced in the end? Why does he help Emma after everything that happens? How does he know what she really is? These are all questions that should have been answered in order to justify much of the reasoning behind why people are looking for Emma.

Additionally, as we learn more about Adrae and Natan, we learn that Adrae is cold and manipulative, but Natan is kind and endearing. That’s all we know about these two characters throughout the entire story. We know that Adrae want’s to use and exploit Emma and her powers, but why? What is her job? What is her overall goal? How did she even learn of Daniel and Emma and how does that all play into the overarching plot of Emma losing her memories?

Natan and Emma’s relationship is the only thing that truly seemed planned out completely from the start of the story. It was evident from the beginning these would be our “love interest” storyline characters. What’s confusing about this relationship is that it comes out of nowhere. Emma speaks very little due to her constant restraint, yet Natan seems to fall for her without any interaction between the two of them. I can appreciate the fragility Emma has, and the desire to want to protect her, but to seemingly jeopardize his entire world for this girl he knows for mere days without any spoken dialogue between them seems like a stretch and unrealistic even for fiction.

What takes away from this story the most is the writing style. This story was 474 pages long and I would argue that around 200+ of those pages were devoted to unnecessary metaphors and simile descriptors that took away from the story rather than aided it. Dialogue often drives plot through characters and because our main character is basically mute for most of the story, it doesn’t surprise me that we’re given a lot of insight into her thoughts. The problem is that the insight we’re given is so full of metaphor that the reader is left confused to what is actually happening.

I found the overuse of the metaphor of Emma’s “hurricane” and “echoes” to be exhausting towards the end of the book. Yes, this is the title, and yes, that is how her memories were wiped, but it felt so forced and contrived to continuously refer to her conflicting thoughts in that manner. I think the beauty of good writing is the ability to leave subtle references to things that leave the reader saying “aha! there it is!” yet nothing in this book was subtle. Repetition clogged all of the descriptions leaving the reader bored by the time they are able to get to the actual point of the description. This is especially difficult to read through because there is so little dialogue happening.

I think I understand the author’s approach to the use of metaphor and simile considering the lack of dialogue. I assume this was intended to provide context and imagery for the reader to immerse themselves into the emotions and experiences of the characters. Unfortunately, I don’t think that approach was successful. I spent so much time reading about additional ways to describe one emotion that I forgot what was happening in terms of plot and character interaction.

In terms of world-building, I really don’t think there was much attention given to this. We learn that Emma is a girl who was altered to be a weapon of destruction but we know nothing about the world in which she lives. Why is this weapon necessary? What’s happening in the world that requires people to invest in this type of experimentation? How was she chosen? Who are the big villains of the story that Emma is ultimately defying by not going along with being used as a weapon?

There was just SO much missing from this story. I truly couldn’t tell you what the problem is for this world. It’s clear that the sub-plot is that Emma has no memories and is trying to get away from the cruel intentions of Adrae, but without knowing who Adrae is or why she wants Emma, or ANYTHING surrounding why Emma is so valuable to these people with money, it’s hard to understand where this story intends to go. Is this a fantasy? Is Emma powerful in some fantastical way? Is this a dystopian society that has descended into some type of turmoil due to war or economic crisis? Are Emma’s powers more physically based like a trained assassin? Is this science fiction since there are computerized elements surgically placed in her brain? The readers aren’t told and aren’t able to guess based on the information given.

Like I said — I think there is potential here, I just think the author has to decide what type of story this is. I think there is a lot of work to be done developing these characters, giving them purpose and meaning in the story, since Emma is the only one who isn’t sure of her past. I think this is a world that would benefit from being defined. Readers need some background knowledge in order to see the purpose behind these character interactions. I think the relationship between Emma and Natan is missing reason — two people can care for each other but there’s just so much missing as to what draws Natan to Emma that it’s confusing and appears forced.

Overall, I think there needs to be way less metaphorical description and much more real, direct, world building. This story could benefit from dual points of view — seeing situations from Natan’s point of view would give readers access to dialogue they crave and miss from Emma’s point of view, but also give readers insight into his motivations behind his feelings towards Emma. The use of metaphor and simile is ultimately the thing that really made me struggle to get through the first 200 pages. I truly believe that much of what’s written took away from the pace of the novel and actually distracted from the story. Perhaps we will get more answers in the second book, as I assume there will be a second. Unfortunately, I don’t think even a second novel can account for all the gaps presented in the first book.

Ultimately, writing style is important for a reader to engage in a story and I just did not connect with this writing style. Perhaps other readers might connect better to this style of writing and find things that I wasn’t able to.

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#book review #Bookreview #createspace #echoes #independent author review #Review

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linda-charlie-bloom-blog · 7 years ago

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What hidden agenda are you bringing into your relationship?

Chad had all of the features that were on Miranda’s perfect partner checklist: He was intelligent, good-looking, financially fit, athletic, and loved kids and cats. So why then, she wondered did she always feel like there was something missing or not quite right between then. She often felt that he was trying to control or manipulate her, even though when she confronted him with her feelings, he insisted that he wanted her to be free to make her own choices and do what she felt was right for her. While Chad sounded sincere, Miranda never felt that she could really trust his words and she had a large collection of “evidence” that she had gathered over the three years that they had been together that in her mind “proved” that he was determined to direct her life. When Chad suggested that they move in together, she became so fearful of the possibility of losing control of her life that she insisted that they would need to get counseling together before she could feel sufficiently trusting that her fears would not become a reality. Chad agreed and reassured her that he had no intention of trying to pressure her into doing anything against her will.

Chad: “I told Miranda that I wasn’t interested in making her into someone other than who she is, but she continued to be suspicious of me. She needed a lot of reassurance that I wasn’t going to put a collar around her neck and put her on a leash like a pet. I asked her to give me a chance to show her that I wasn’t a controlling guy.

Miranda: Part of me really wanted to move in with Chad, but I’ve always been sensitive to issues of control and another part was terrified of giving up control over my own life. I had spent a lot of my life feeling like I wasn’t in charge of my decisions, but my parents were. I wanted Chad to not only take away my fear of being controlled but also make up for all those years in which I had to be the perfect child. My parents had such rigid expectations of me that I was in a constant state of tension. I couldn’t make a wrong move, get my clothes dirty, speak too loudly, or get anything less than straight A’s in school.

Through Chad’s support, I’ve come to realize that I had been holding some very big and unrealistic expectations of him that were impossible for him or anyone to fulfill, and I was disappointed and angry that he wasn’t fulfilling them. I had hoped that Chad would take away my fear and all that distress that I had been carrying for years from my suffocating childhood. And there were and still are many things that he can do and does, like having us both be included in our important decisions and asking my opinion about things rather than just acting unilaterally without consulting me. The evidence was coming in, but I was still so scared. It finally dawned on me that it wasn’t up to Chad to take away my fear of losing my freedom and being controlled. It was up to me to draw my boundaries clearly, and to learn how to relax them from time to time so that I wouldn’t turn into a hyper-controller myself.

Chad: I couldn’t rescue Miranda from having grown up so straight-jacketed in her childhood, but I could and wanted to support her to find out who she is and to live from that truth. I give her a high five when she takes some chances, tries new things, or sticks up for herself when she and I don’t see things eye to eye. I really want her to feel that she can do things her own way and that when she does, I don’t love her any less.

Miranda: Chad didn’t rescue me from the old pain that I brought into this relationship; but he did show up with love and support while I figured out how to live my life more in accordance with my own script and that has made all the difference in the world.

To the degree that early unhealed wounds and unmet childhood needs are carried into adulthood we may see our partner as having the power, even the responsibility to rescue us from the residual pain from these experiences by providing us with the kind of love that we had never received. What we deeply desire is love that is healing, affirming, redemptive, and unconditionally accepting. In short, salvation. Not only is this expectation unrealistic, it’s unattainable. Still, the desire for love can be so compelling that it frequently blinds us to this reality.

When we feel ourselves to be incomplete or lacking a sense of wholeness, we often seek out others to fill our emptiness, someone who seems to possess the power to restore us to wholeness. Generally such a person embodies inner qualities, character traits and ways of being that are similar to those of one or both of our parents or caregivers. This sense of familiarity is one of the things that make this person attractive to us.

Such a person often inflames the desire for redemptive love, the kind of love that can heal our hearts and souls. When we are redeemed, we feel “right” with ourselves and relieved of feelings of unworthiness, doubt, anxiety and shame. “This time,” we tell ourselves, “this person will love me in the way I really need and deserve to be loved, and their love will remove the pain and suffering from my life.”

This then is the redemptive longing; the hope of being saved once and for all from the suffering inherent in a life in which we feel ourselves to be undeserving of love. When we fail to recognize the illusory nature of this expectation, relationships that began with dreams of divine bliss, can deteriorate into unrelenting frustration, and the person whom we had hoped would be our salvation becomes the source of more emotional pain.

It’s in our ability to see the true source of our attraction and attractiveness to others that we can begin the real healing work that can free us from relational patterns that no longer serve us. With this awareness we can learn how to put out the fires of suffering at their source. When we do this we diminish the inclination to compromise ourselves in order to gain love and acceptance from others. Looking for wholeness and security through another is like seeking relief of a toothache from a painkiller. There's nothing wrong with doing it and it will temporarily alleviate the pain, but it is not an effective long-term solution.

When the source of the problem has to do with an unwillingness to honestly face ourselves, the solution involves the ability to remember (literally, to put back together again) our essential selves and claim all of the parts that comprise the fullness of our being, including those parts that are in need of attention and healing.

This doesn’t necessarily require us to reveal our deepest darkest secrets to the world, but simply to honestly acknowledge and experience the truth to ourselves. In so doing, those aspects of our personality that we have tried to conceal gradually become exposed to the light of awareness and compassion. This process of gradual awakening is the essence of the work that over time will set us free. And freedom, isn’t just having nothing left to lose, it’s the foundation of fulfilling relationships and fulfilling lives.

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